metaphorically speaking...you can kiss my....:)

Well well well. It is amazing how much can happen within a little time frame. How much a little time can allow things to change so drastically and in more ways than one. Its been said that "time heals all things" and I used to think that this meant, if I waited patiently, all would go back to normal, like this change never happened..over time I have come to realize that much like a wound, we can heal and be better, but we most likely will always have that scar as a reminder that this change really did occur. To me the phrase "time heals all things" personally means that even though change is happening or happened, doesn't mean we get a do-over or we can mold back to our original shape, but we learn to adapt to our new shape and the change becomes our new norm. That scar will be there to remind us what we endured and what we can endure, but is now part of our past.
One of my main focuses Ive been trying to imply in my life is to live more in the present rather than dwell on my past, or try to see too far into the future. It tires me, and only brings me down to dwell on the things that have happened, or stress too much on what I want for my future. I'm trying to learn to be present in my life here and now.I used to think that I had to find someone in similar situations I find myself in to know that my life is somewhat "normal"....but that would mean that someone would have had to be the first to be in that situation to give others something to relate too. After thinking about this, I decided, why can't I be this person who paves a different path for others to relate to. I don't need to follow when I am perfectly capable of leading. Whether anyone "follows' doesn't matter, the point that matters is that I was brave enough to turn my path and trek onto unfamiliar ground. This is all metaphorically speaking of coarse
Ive been learning more and more lately to trust in myself. To love who I am and what I stand for, and to be proud of myself. This is not an easily acquired achievement. For someone to be able to say they love themselves and the person they are, is an ability that one is lucky to have and that many search for. It is also an ability that doesn't come easy, if there is anyone that says it does come easily, they are surely mistaken or born perfect. I choose to go with the first choice. I used to think that loving the person I am made me selfish, but that's wrong. Learning to love ourselves as a person humbles us. For someone to say, OK, I'm not perfect, I make some stupid decisions, but I love the person I am, is an amazing accomplishment that shouldn't be taken lightly. It is admitting we aren't perfect, it is admitting fault, not hiding or denying or blaming others. It is standing proud in our own feet. I can't honestly stand here today and say. I love myself completely, it is a process that is ever changing. It is something one must work to maintain. You don't reach a point of self accomplishment and then never have to work for it again. Its like a wild horse, you don't just tame it and then send it into the wild thinking it will stay tamed. You work with it, maintain it and that is what balances it out. What I can honestly say is that I do look into the mirror more lately and think, wow I look pretty today, or nice smile, I walk a little taller knowing I am me, I am flawed but i am ok with that. Being ok with being flawed makes me feel a whole lot better than feeling I have to be perfect.