Another misson call...another bittersweet goodbye.

Well my youngest brother Westin has officially been called to serve for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He will be serving the Roseville California mission. It is the mission that is directly next to just east of Casey's mission which was Santa Rosa California. They are both pretty excited about both being Nor Cal servers.

I am so excited for him yet so sad to have to say goodbye to another missionary. It really is not easy. Plus Wes and I are so close that its going to be very odd with him gone. I guess I can just keep busy with my life and wait for time to pass.

What to do with my time?

It's almost the new year and I guess I best be setting my goals.

Until next time.

Bye

cut....gut......and smile!

So for Christmas this year rather than asking for the usual cliche gifts such as my two front teeth (already have those) or a pony (they poop too much) I guess I will just have to settle with a good ol' run of the mill gallbladder-ectomy; if that is even a real word. YES! Gallbladder was removed. I am waiting to see if anything magical happens, however so far between the Percocet fog and swirly twirly's (nausea) and some random gnarly itching on my belly around my cuts and sterri-strips, nothing too fantabulous has occurred. I was sort of counting on some elaborate mind trip while out for the procedure, so when I awoke I would have this super amazing novel to write and become super rich and get to hang out with cool people like J.K. Rowling.

Well my Gallbladder removal was nothing other than a standerd run of the mill same day surgery. I did have a bit of a mind trip coming out of the anesthesia which was surreal like I was in my own movie. If this was my own movie I imagine I would be a tad more glamorous, but it is what it is and this is my story.

The day is Tuesday the 18th 2012 and I am sitting in the Coral Desert Surgery Center at 6am. Filling out paper work and pretty much signing my life away.

 After that I am walked back through the double doors, after some quick goodbyes to my parents and a hug to my younger brother like I was going away to my death. The nurse handed me the most glamorous gown which I highly doubt is even out in the nicest stores for celebrities like Beyonce to buy; nope this gown was for my shining moment. I slipped into the cold and clean bathroom ( you know I really do appreciate a clean bathroom , it can make or break my day) and began to stuff my belongings into the patient plastic baggy and I waltzed out to the hospital bed and hopped on.

The nurse covered me with a blanket that had the softness of an old crusty towel. She then began to tie off my arm to begin my IV. She looked into my forearm and asked me if I brought my veins with me today. I assured her they were in there somewhere. The nurse then flipped my hand over and began to firmly smack the back side of my hand a few times. In my mind I was praying this was some snake charmer like technique to inform my veins to bulge out in my inner arm and not some crazy idea like putting the IV in my hand. I was wrong. She was no snake charmer. It went in the hand. The IV was set and shockingly I didn't bust out in tears. I just chose to reject my left hand for the rest of our time in the surgery clinic, not only would I not pay it enough attention to move it to comfort I would not look at it for the rest of my adventure here. This may sound odd but its common for me, I neglect paying attention to any part of my body with a needle poked into it, mostly because my super advanced mind (umm more like over active imagination) takes over and leads me to believe a GIANT hose is plunging into my flesh and is sucking my very will to live. It grosses me out. Soul suckers!

The nurse told me I could see my family while I wait so she went out to get them. It was only my dad at the moment, Mom and brother had escaped to make a McDonalds breakfast run. Jerks. I talked with my dad by my side for a bit, then shortly my mom and brother arrived. We chatted for a bit then the anesthesiologist came and said he was going to give me some "happy juice". I asked him if this was the stuff that will knock me out to which he replied, "No, it just makes you a little calmer for the whole experience". I lay there after he sent the invisible magic liquid into my IV. My mom asked me if I felt anything and I said, kinda smug, Nope! Seconds later it hit. I was staring up at the ceiling saying "Woah there it is" and telling my Mom that they were moving. "No!" she said, "your moving" and they began to wheel me away. I had just enough consciousness to say goodbye and it went dark.

From the moment I got my happy juice until the time I got home later in the day, my experiences of coming out of the anesthesia were much like the movie Knight and Day. The part where Cameron Diaz is drugged by Tom Cruise with Pro-ton Zero or whatever, and it shows her coming in and out of it for quick moments, every time in a different place and then fading back out. Sound is muffled, vision blurred, alts the while drooling on oneself. Just kidding about the drooling part.

I had a little flash of memory of my arms being strapped down. These little arms pulled out from the side of my bed to strap my arms too. I remember feeling so chill and comfortable. I was happy.

 The next thing I know I am waking up crying. My eyes are too heavy to keep open and everything is blurry and muffled sounding. I am crying uncontrollably and asking the nurse to get my mom for me. She keeps telling me I need to calm down first. These words of coarse make me cry worse and I could hear my heart monitor start to beep radically. This happened a couple times. Turns out I decided to stop breathing a couple times, I think I was too drugged to remember how to. Nurses kept coming over to me telling me I need to breath. I then remember pulling my oxygen mask off a couple times convinced it was suffocating me. To which the nurses would put it back on and tell me I need to breath and calm down. I realized at this point no one would let me see my mommy until I chilled. So I began to focus on trying to breath in and out. I needed my mommy.

Blip

I am next being helped off my hospital bed and into a wheelchair.

Blip

I am in the bathroom and my Mom is helping me get dressed.

Blip

I am sitting slumped in my wheelchair in a room that is sort of darkened and my family is there. All of a sudden I am holding a little can of juice with a straw. One sip and I couldn't handle any more.

Blip

I am now being helped into my parents SUV. We begin to drive home I roll my window down praying I dont have to gag. We get home and my dad and brother slowly holding my arms walk me into the house and into my bed.

The following few hours I was more coming out of it and slightly aware, just really tired. My dad was sitting in the recliner in my room watching me, next it was my mom, and finally my little brother came in to be with me so my mom could take a nap. Long day.

Nobody left my side. It was really sweet. I later motated out to the couch which would be my base for the next couple of days. My brother, bless his heart, was there to wait on me hand and foot. Probably because I was killer awesome at taking care of him when he had his colon removed. He was paying his dues. Haha kidding, he is always so sweet to me. Anything I needed he made sure I had it. He helped me up and down and to and from the bathroom. He would follow behind me as I did two laps around the kitchen island (moms orders from the doctor) and if I were to fall he would be there. I would stop a couple times trying to sleep standing where I was, it was then he would take my arm and lead me back to the couch like I was a little senile lady looking for her cat that died 15 years ago.

On and on it goes.

I still have my sterri strips on and they itch like a beast. I feel better and today I finally put on a bra. I am still slightly nauseated when I get up and a little tender but am on Ibuprofen and not my "pain pills".

All in all Im glad its done and over with. I was really nervous about having surgery, since this was my first. Luckily this was minor. I didn't fancy how I felt for the first 2 days. I sat and cried constantly in pain the day I got home waiting for 2 hours to tick by in between taking my pain pills. I am glad to be past that. And now I know if I ever need surgery again, if they want me to breath with their gosh dang gas mask on, they best be bringing my Mommy into the room first.

**Update**

So it is now December 27th and its been about a week and a half since surgery. Two days ago in my sleep I rolled onto my side and felt a tearing sharp pain in my stomach. I checked my sutures and they weren't gushing blood so I figured I just stretched my inner wound a bit. Little while later I did it again. The next morning I woke up and was in pain almost like I was when I came home from the hospital. I called the surgeons office and was later informed that I have torn my inner sutures. It happens they told me and its nothing to be too concerned about. That just sets my healing back to almost square one. Bleh! I have been trying to do too much apparently thinking I am more healed than I really am. So now I am forced to lay down and do NOTHING. Ahhhh. Im just glad I dont have to be cut open again. Yay!

Thats the journey of my gallbladder.

My sweet friends Jessica and Tav sent me these flowers and fluffy little bear the day after my surgery. I was having a pretty rough day so it totally made me smile.

new technology and the rapidly aging mind

So I feel like I am 90 almost everyday. Whether it be that my joints feel like it or my mind. Seriously I used to think I would never fall behind when it came to technology and that I would always be on the "in". I find that anymore I do not even know how to work my own phone. When did our phones become such high-tech pieces of a large sum of money? I dropped easily close to 200 for my phone (which was a steal) and often wonder WHY? Im not a hermit or anything (yet) but really, do I need facebook on my phone? Do I need to know what is on every persons mind every single minute of teh day? Do I need to be able to check the news 24-7 (well that and the weather have truthfully been quite handy). I mean come on people. We carry our entire lives in these little bricks, and yes, the phone which has transformed from the "brick" to a smaller slim design is now trending back into "brick" status. The bigger the better, and in my case thats the truth. I can't hardly read my phone. The larger ones I find easier to hold. Just saying. Its come to the point which is in all reality really sad, that if we were to lose our phone, we lose our mind. We cannot recall any ones phone numbers, even our parents, because typically they are just speed dial 2 (#1 always seems to have to be voicemail). We cannot recall what our schedules are or where we are even supposed to be at the moment without our phones. Technology has become too much of a dependency for us in this world. We pay so much for things to keep up with the "Joneses" but the "Joneses" don't even know why they paid so much. Because thats what seems to be the thing to do I guess. I know that this is all hypocritical in a sense because I am typing this on my new Macbook that I paid 1400 for. Hmmmm Im a drinker of the freakin kool-aid. (Grape is the best)! I have decided though, my computer was a wise investment because writing is what I do. Its what I am hoping to do for a while. So that justifies that splurge. I on the other hand will NOT be buying the much "needed everyone seems to think" I-phone. My nexus will serve me just fine. I have deleted my facebook because I think that the social media is in a sense destroying our personal relationship skills and communication. Writing on someones wall doesn't qualify you as a good buddy in someones life. I found I was deleting more and more people who I considered either fake or not really in my life. And the list became so small that the only people left were my close friends and family that I speak to in "real life" on pretty much a daily basis. So I nixed the facebook account and have never felt more free. Its so true on Wall-E when the ship turns and everyone falls out of their little jazzies and see's whats really in front of their face for the first time in a long time. Hmmm how refreshing it is. I hope I dont end up in a jazzie for a long time. Unless its a been a really long day and wal-mart just seems too tremendous a place to walk through. Hahaha.

happies and more

Here is a picture of Cambria in her kitty mask. She wore it all day that day and the next day. She would occasionly take it off to show me all the sweat build up (gross) haha. Kids! We went with my mom to the library and while she went inside, Cambria and I played in the water "river" in the park they have next to the library. We had fun cooling off our feet.

I haven't had a whole lot of free time lately but when I do my favorite is reading. I have been reading this Janet Evanovich series its the One for the Money series and she has 18 of them so far. I am proud to say I have read all of them. The biggest series Ive read. I am also reading the Pretty Little Liars series (my guilty pleasure) and occasionaly a mystery here and there. Reading is the greatest. I took this photo of my glasses and my book one day and loved how it turned out.

Every now and then in the evening we go out and play with the animals and weed the gardens, and occasionaly we find little froggies. We found two little tiny guys and named them Bob and Chuck. Later we found a fat little horned toad and named him Larry. A couple weeks later we found who we are pretty sure is Larry, but he is much fatter Larry. Casey will hold him on his back and rub his tummy (apparantly they like that) I get freaked out by them (I have this fear they have razor teeth and will eat my arm off) but I did rub Larry's tummy.

This is Bob!

Fun Times!

Changed for the better!

So much is going on in life these days its so Cray Cray! I have so many different posts on here that are saved as drafts. Most of them are just my random thoughts on life. I am going to by-pass those right now and post this one because I feel that much has changed since those posts. This is new and fresh, and much like a veggie or fruit, that is how it is best.


School has started! Yay! I am still so excited to be back in school. Even though I am taking 17 credits and working full time, I love every minute of it. I am so glad to be back in school. Its where I needed to be. I am taking the basics English, Math, Health and Nutrition, another English and then Anthropology. I am finding that I really enjoy all my classes, but really like Anthropology a lot. I have a really neat teacher who I am pretty sure wears a wig. She is so smart and passionate and it makes class enjoyable. I had lunch today with Blake who is also in school full time. We ate and then walked around all the "school club" booths. We got our gay pride stickers, anti rape bracelets and our political t-shirts and parted ways to head to class. Good day today. I cannot wait until the weather cools down a bit though, because walking across campus with a heavy backpack in jeans is pretty toasty.

I am getting pumped up and ready for my first 5k this November. Its the color me rad 5k and it is going to be EPIC. I am going to run it with Nicole, Jess and Katie. We tried to get Tav to join but the most he would agree to is volunteering to help "throw the chalk dust" all over us and all the other runners. I'm pretty sure he will save the major blasts for our faces. Hmm. Westin and Blake might run it with me, it will be so much fun.

Cambria is starting kindergarten at her new private school tomorrow. She is so excited. She just got glasses and is so freaking adorable in them. They are pink with sponge bob on the sides. She loves them. She comes over every week while Blake and Aubrie are in class or work, and grandma babysits. I love when I have some free time from school and work when she is here because then we go shopping or play in the yard with Sadie and Misty or craft. The other day Cambria and I went to Michaels with Grandma and found some pretty fun "disguises" she found this kitty mask and wanted to scare grandma so we put it on and we circled the entire store before finding grandma and "scaring" her. I put on some awesome Magoo glasses and got some funny looks from other shoppers. We had fun! I love this little girl so much.

( I will post more pics later)

XOXO